A Good Dose of Armchair Theology, Ecclesiastical Antagonism, Heresy Hunting, and Neoconservatism, with a Pinch of Humor and Sarcasm!
Possible angelic replies [mind you, some angels are fallen]:Arminian angel: No one made you listen to him, you DO have free will after all.Calvinist angel: You weren't one of the elect, so it really wouldn't have made any real difference.Pelagian angel: You can't just expect God to throw salvation at you!Hyper-Calvinist angel: God WANTED you here, that's why.Lutheran angel: The real problem is that your parents should have baptized you.Presbyterian angel: Yeah, what he said.Catholic angel: Hey man, sorry that whole 'purgatory' thing didn't work out. 'Infallible' my cherubic --!Relativist angel: Don't worry, this is really just a state of mind....Pentecostal angel: Must have sinned right before he died.United Pentecostal angel: I for one never heard him speak in tongues.Liberal angel: Wait, we haven't even established that this is literal fire yet.Osteenite angel: Seriously, I don't get it. What's going on? Come on, tell me! Pretty please!Episcopalian angel: I am so going to complain if this has anything to do with lifestyle choices.Charismatic angel: Don't confess that you're in hell! Speak to the problem -- rebuke it!Emergent angel: Guys, doesn't this whole 'damnation' thing seem like a threat to you?Baptist angel: What a horrible fate.....so, when's lunch?
Possible angelic replies [mind you, some angels are fallen]:
ReplyDeleteArminian angel: No one made you listen to him, you DO have free will after all.
Calvinist angel: You weren't one of the elect, so it really wouldn't have made any real difference.
Pelagian angel: You can't just expect God to throw salvation at you!
Hyper-Calvinist angel: God WANTED you here, that's why.
Lutheran angel: The real problem is that your parents should have baptized you.
Presbyterian angel: Yeah, what he said.
Catholic angel: Hey man, sorry that whole 'purgatory' thing didn't work out. 'Infallible' my cherubic --!
Relativist angel: Don't worry, this is really just a state of mind....
Pentecostal angel: Must have sinned right before he died.
United Pentecostal angel: I for one never heard him speak in tongues.
Liberal angel: Wait, we haven't even established that this is literal fire yet.
Osteenite angel: Seriously, I don't get it. What's going on? Come on, tell me! Pretty please!
Episcopalian angel: I am so going to complain if this has anything to do with lifestyle choices.
Charismatic angel: Don't confess that you're in hell! Speak to the problem -- rebuke it!
Emergent angel: Guys, doesn't this whole 'damnation' thing seem like a threat to you?
Baptist angel: What a horrible fate.....so, when's lunch?