1st Amendment Rights End Here!
Due to the fact there are a few folks on the blogisphere who like to go around stirring up stuff in comment boxes, I have decided to lay down some rules for comments here on the Rant blog.
Honestly, I just don't have the time, money, nor the I.Q. points to take on every single pugnacious detractor who may come through this blog looking to pick a fight.
If you want to post a comment, please keep these things in mind:
- This blog is run as a dictatorship, not a democracy!
- Comments are always welcome: positive or negative, but I'm moderating them! If I don't like your comment, it will be zapped!
- Looking for a debate? Go elsewhere. I don't have time for it, so don't waste your time posting a comment. I'll just zap it anyway!
- Want to use my comment box to rant about Christians (especially Calvinists or Calvinism)?? See #3 or go start your own blog...
- Looking to use your superior intellect to make me look silly? Don't waste your time! That stuff will get zapped too!
- Did I mention I'm the boss?
- If you forget rule #6, please see rule #1.
- Anyone who does not like the new rules may file a grievance at the complaint dept.
- For a "seed offering" of $2500.00, you will be given special immunity from my comment zapping for 6 months and receive an anointed neck-tie made in the wonderful land of China. Please email me at rhettswhips at Yahoo dot com for details!
Additional Rules as of 1 Sept, 2007:
- Postmodernism will not be tolerated.
- Arminians will be mocked and ridiculed using quotes by John Owen.
- Buddha will be subjected to gastric bypass surgery and put on a strict liquid diet.
- Catholics must leave Jesuit propaganda and Rosary Beads with security before entering.
- Illegal aliens will be deported.
- Islamic terrorists will be shot.
- Anyone who violates these rules will be pistol whipped in front of their local City Hall.
- Baggy saggin' jeans must be pulled up to the waist and a belt worn at all times.
- Elton John music is forbidden at all times.
- Rules subject to change at my whim.
- Books by Tim LaHaye, Jack Van Impe, or Hal Lindsey will be confiscated.
Have a great day!
7 comments:
i would send a seed offering, but I don't have that type of money....can you make exceptions?
Rhett,
I admit I found some of your rules to be quite funny. So much so, it inspired me to go back and resurrect the old rules for posting on Incrediblog. I took a couple of yours and tweeked them a little for comic effect. :)
I have 25 cents. Can I just get a neck tie?
"For a "seed offering" of $2500.00, you will be given special immunity from my comment zapping for 6 months and receive an anointed neck-tie made in the wonderful land of China. Please email me at rhettswhips at Yahoo dot com for details!"
I need a special anointing, where do I sign up? BTW: Are you invloved with any of Paula White's ministries; I love how she boosts my pathetic self-esteem!!
Scribe,
Please send a money order for $2500 to me at:
P O Box 261
Stillmore GA 30439
I will get the tie from my closet, pray over it, then ship it to you. FEEEL THE POWER!!
I'm not affiliated with Paula, but the girl sure knows how to make a buck!!!
Recently, I saw her listed as a guest speaker on one of those "How to Be a Millionaire Quick Seminars." Donald Trump was on program for it too!!! LOL!!!
Take care.
Love the updated rules. I'm wracking my brain for September updates at my own blog.
But, just to clarify, I realize you don't want me to leave comments which utilize Elton John music, but can I have "Candle in the Wind" playing when I write my comment?
"can I have "Candle in the Wind" playing when I write my comment?"
[sighs]
Yeah... I guess.
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