Rhett's Rants: Your Best Life Now?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

by Daniel Nuckols

J.C. Thibodaux said...: Possible angelic replies [mind you, some angels are fallen]:

Arminian angel: No one made you listen to him, you DO have free will after all.

Calvinist angel: You weren't one of the elect, so it really wouldn't have made any real difference.

Pelagian angel: You can't just expect God to throw salvation at you!

Hyper-Calvinist angel: God WANTED you here, that's why.

Lutheran angel: The real problem is that your parents should have baptized you.

Presbyterian angel: Yeah, what he said.

Catholic angel: Hey man, sorry that whole 'purgatory' thing didn't work out. 'Infallible' my cherubic --!

Relativist angel: Don't worry, this is really just a state of mind....

Pentecostal angel: Must have sinned right before he died.

United Pentecostal angel: I for one never heard him speak in tongues.

Liberal angel: Wait, we haven't even established that this is literal fire yet.

Osteenite angel: Seriously, I don't get it. What's going on? Come on, tell me! Pretty please!

Episcopalian angel: I am so going to complain if this has anything to do with lifestyle choices.

Charismatic angel: Don't confess that you're in hell! Speak to the problem -- rebuke it!

Emergent angel: Guys, doesn't this whole 'damnation' thing seem like a threat to you?

Baptist angel: What a horrible fate.....so, when's lunch?; 12:15 PM