Saturday, June 23, 2007

Contest!!!

My buddy Gordan has "tagged me". This time I am supposed to reveal 8 things about myself and then tag 8 others, but I really don't want to play by the rules on this one...

So, to make it more interesting, I am going to list 8 simple things, 5 will be true and 3 will be false. The first person to correctly identify the three false items will win a copy of the phenominal Amazing Grace DVD.

Here's the 8 items to choose from:

  1. I've never gotten a speeding ticket.
  2. I met President Ronald Reagan on a trip to Washington, D.C. when I was in 3rd grade.
  3. I once helped thwart an attempted bank robbery.
  4. When I was in basic training, I was offered a position in the 3rd United States Infantry Regiment (aka the "Old Guard"), the U.S. Army's official escort to the President of the United States.
  5. I have visited all the States in the Old Confederacy.
  6. My whips can be found on (or have been used on) every Continent except Antarctica
  7. I'm a decendant of King Henry II of England.
  8. When I was a teenager, I was an avid listener of the Rush Limbaugh radio program.

Here's the fine print:

Guesses must be posted in comment section. One guess per person. Contest ends either when the first person guesses correctly or Wednesday evening at 9 pm at which time I will post the correct answers. Family cannot participate. The winner will need to email me his/her mailing address by no latter than Friday (June 29) at 5 pm EDT so I can order the DVD and have it shipped to him/her...

21 comments:

Gordan said...

False: 3,5,7

Joshua A. Hitchcock said...

False: 1,3, and 4

Bob Hayton said...

False: 2,4,6

Machine Gun Kelley said...

Bzzzzzz!!! Sorry guys. Thanks for playing... :)

Gordan said...

You didn't limit the number of guesses, so...

My next idea is that your statement that three were false, was in fact false. I now believe that all eight are true, with the exception of #2, which was true at one time but then became false due to an extreme environmental anomoly.

I also believe that #9 is patently false, or will be, once you write it. Something about a chipmunk, ballet slippers, and a can of aerosal whipped cream...you really ought to be ashamed.

Machine Gun Kelley said...

You are trying to interpret this contest through your Western presuppositions my friend...

You see, It would not be ontologically consistant of me -being a Christian that is- to commit a privation of good by attempting to engage in epistimological obfuscation regarding revelation of the objective and subjective aspects of my ontology.

To do so would lead to yet another privation of good because it would neccsarily mean that this whole contest is a farse, which indeed it is not, because I said it's not. And that is final.

Gordan said...

Are you so arrogant as to claim to be certain of that?

Isn't it obvious that your list, in which you claim to have included 3 falsehoods, necessarily implies a change in the ontology of God Godself? Your Western, modernist presuppositions are at best an antimony, if not a full-blown contradition re: your insistence on epistemological, derivitive, intuitive assertions of verifiable certitude?

If you'd only repent and acknowledge the inherent authority of the seven ecumenical councils, you would see that I have completely demolished the worldview foundations of all of Western society, it having been founded on flawed philosophies constructed by men who were, at best, endowed with but a third of by active brain cells.

And, thus, you would know that I am the winner of your silly little contest, and deserve at least a whip.

Machine Gun Kelley said...

Your position is wholly untenable! For the epistemological interpretations you posit are built upon petty and absurd Southwestern philosophical subcategories. Had you carefully read the apocrypha (especially Bel and the Dragon) you would understand that the supreme way to win my contest is to call the whole contest into question, then employ the Asbury philisophical deconstruction method to dismantle all of their underlying ontological presuppositions, therefore showing them to be entirely vacuous and untenable in the face of meaningful and consistent philosophical flatulence and dialogue.

However, you will not do so because of your inherent bias towards Postmillenial eschatology and study of 16th century schismatic iconoclasm, therefore the understanding escapes you that even the Apostles affirmed the theory that absolute subjectivity is key to a proper epistimological and eschatological hermenuetic when trying to understand the nexus of the ontology of a veritable Southern Gentlemen such as I. --Even a 12 year old 16th century French Anabaptist would understand this!

Also, had you invested time to conduct even a cursory reading of the contents of the Vatican Secret Archives prior to entering this contest, it would have helped you to know that the modern archives of the Holy See were established around 1610 thanks to Paul V (aka Camillo Borghese). This information would have been extremely beneficial to you in determining the legitimacy of item #2.

Were it not for your propensity toward a superficial epistemological humility and a flawed understanding of the ancient Hebrew cultus upon returning from the Babylonian exile, you might have won this contest already.

Therefore, because you refuse to properly submit your yourself to rigors of preparation for such a challenge as that which was laid before you, I hereby determine that you do not so much as deserve one of our lovely Eastern Orthodox good luck charm consolation prizes!

Gordan said...

Oh, yeah? That's what YOU think.

Exist-Dissolve said...

To do so would lead to yet another privation of good because it would neccsarily mean that this whole contest is a farse, which indeed it is not, because I said it's not. And that is final.

Wow. That could be inserted into any number of Reformed confessions and no one would know the difference.

Machine Gun Kelley said...

LOL! Nice jab Exist.

Go ahead and see if you can pick the 3 falsehoods...

I'd LOVE for you to watch that DVD!!

;)

Anonymous said...

False - 1, 2, and 3.

Gage Browning
Post Tenebras Lux

Anonymous said...

My guess is that items 1, 2, and 3 are false.

And not being nearly the philosophy geeks some of the rest of you are, I'll have to end my comment with this guess.

Bob Hayton said...

Hey John,

You better guess again. Gage already guessed that combination. Otherwise you really don't have a chance.

And what? You aren't a philosophy geek?

Machine Gun Kelley said...

If you haven't noticed already, that "philosophy" I was using above is a bunch of hogwash, but it sounds almost like the stuff certain people like to use to attempt to get around the authority and plain teaching of Scripture!!

Btw, no winner yet!

Contest ends Wednesday at 9pm EDT!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! And one minute apart, too! Great minds do think alike!

Let's see . . .
How about 4, 5, 6?

Joshua A. Hitchcock said...

IF there is no winner, I declare exist dissolve automatic winner, simply bc I want him to watch the Amazing Grace DVD.

Steven Dresen said...

If I win I agree with Josh send it to exist if he'll take it:
false= 3, 6, 8

Anonymous said...

False: 2,3,5

Anonymous said...

Sorry. I'm the anonymous who just posted 2,3,5. Dave H. @ life4ca@yahoo.com.

Thanks.

Machine Gun Kelley said...

Contest is now closed.

The winner is Dave H.